How to Overcome Burnout
In a recent interview, Jessica Shraybman, the founder, and co-partner of Shraybman Law opened up about the challenges of running a small business and the effects of burnout. Jessica was asked,” So how do you manage or overcome burnout as a fast-paced lawyer?”
Jessica: This question comes at such an appropriate time. Candidly, I have been teetering on the brink of burnout and have learned what a fine line it is, between working hard and overworking. And, honestly, I have failed more than once to avoid burnout. There have been a few times that I crashed and burned harshly.
The first was in 2021. I was training for and competing in bodybuilding. Training, was itself, a full-time job; requiring me to wake up at 4.30 in the morning for fasted cardio, before going to work a full day, and then going back to the gym for weight training plus another hour of cardio.
This was my routine for about 18 months. I was so consumed and so energized by all that I was doing, that I then felt tired, irritable, and completely drained. I told myself “It’s part of the process”, “this is how you know it’s working.” I took no rest, I barely saw my friends, and I felt isolated but continued to tell myself, “This is what it takes.” To a certain degree, I guess I was right. I won first place at my first competition ever and qualified for nationals. I spent the next six months preparing for nationals even though I only intended to do one show. I thought it would be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that I couldn’t miss and convince myself to keep going for just a little while longer. I did not place first at nationals, and never expected to. After that show, I crashed. Hard.
Physically and mentally. My personal relationship took a big hit. I knew I needed a break, and it was at that time, but I decided to work part-time through the end of the year. That was a great decision. It probably gave me the space to deepen my relationships with my clients and teammates. I recuperated, reconnected with the vision for my business, and after a few months, I was able to re-commit myself to the work of growing my law firm.
Now I know what it feels like when I’m catapulting towards a wall. I remember the signs and I’m kinder to myself when I recognize the symptoms. I’m not perfect and recently have been feeling that familiar sense of having taken on too much responsibility. I was able to perceive it before hitting the wall and I hope in the future to recognize it even sooner. It can be hard to step back, especially when business is booming but as the saying goes: “you have to fill your own cup first.”
These days I’m much better about not working seven days a week. I allow myself to take a vacation. Last week I even gave myself a mental health day; without feeling guilty. I skipped the gym, and I stayed in bed all day, eating snacks and watching movies. It was a Tuesday, it was glorious, and on Wednesday I was more productive than I had been the two weeks prior combined.
It can be hard as a business owner to take a break. You feel responsible to your clients. You feel responsible to your employees. Sometimes we go blind and think we have to be the type of business owner who’s in the office before anyone else and leaves the office after everyone else. The most important thing I’ve been reminding myself of recently is why I chose this path in the first place: to break the stereotype of what it means to be successful and to have the ability to make my own decisions. If I need to take a day off I no longer feel bad. And more joyously, if I want to take a day off, even if I may not need it, ain’t nothing wrong with that either.
Three most important qualities:
1. Discipline over motivation. When we tell ourselves we feel or don’t feel motivated, we give over control to some external, often unperceivable, force. Motivation and it’s almost like some ephemeral energy outside of us that either comes to us one day or a dozen. Motivation is whimsical, and it’s almost like luck to be “motivated” to do what we know needs to be done. Discipline on the other hand is completely within our own control. We know the goal we are trying to accomplish and we know what needs to be done to make it happen. Forget about motivation. Develop or reclaim discipline. There are many days I don’t feel motivated – I don’t feel motivated to get up early and go to the gym, I often don’t feel motivated to review business plans and financial reports, and sometimes I don’t even feel motivated to keep my scheduled calls and meetings. But I have goals, and so I put on my running shoes, print out the spreadsheets, put on my headphones, and pick up my phone because I know what needs to be done to make my dreams a reality.
2. Embrace your ignorance. I encourage all young entrepreneurs to accept and even embrace the fact that they don’t know everything and they can’t do it all. One of the most important qualities is staying humble. Surround yourself with mentors and role models. Folks who have accomplished what you strive to achieve. If you are partnering with someone in your business, make sure that person complements your own skills; that they have a different way of thinking about and seeing the world.
3. Be kind to yourself: Embracing self-kindness is not an indulgence but a necessity, fostering resilience and nurturing the seeds of personal growth. In the journey of self-discovery, the ability to forgive, appreciate, and care for oneself becomes a wellspring of empowerment, enabling one to navigate life's ebbs and flows with grace. It is an acknowledgment that, in the vast expanse of our own existence, we are deserving of the same compassion and kindness that we readily bestow upon others.
Jessica Shraybman - Founder & Co-Partner of Shraybman Law